Taliban gets a surprise.

At last week's UN Security Council Meeting, it was necessary to come to a solid conclusion in response to the Taliban crisis. One of our media members already knew that the attack was going to occur, but kept quiet to her other media members. She was therefore, unfortunately, fired (but now that's alright because she can pursue her career in cabaret singing). The members of the UN Security Council played off the attack very covertly. All of their pretense of negotiation, and even inner conflicts (between hardheaded Israel and every other country) payed off when news of the disarmament of the Taliban-controlled nuclear arsenals spread. Pakistan promptly stood up during the meeting with breaking news: The disarmament was made possible by "distracting the Taliban watching the UN Security Council meeting. Teams were dropped from helicopters flying over." They cut off Taliban's communications in order to cause panic within the facilities. 50 men from Russia and China participated in this attack. As the disarmament was almost completed, China directly stated to the Taliban representative, "we are more prepared than you to destroy your forces at the facilities and have backup." Congratulations to the UN Security Council for saving us all! The plan was indubitably well-executed and thoroughly thought-out. The only downside to it is the suffering the people of Pakistan will have to endure as well as its surrounding nations due to the radiation. A little sacrifice for a greater cause.

Written by Cinnamon Frost

Did the UN make the right decision?

In the UN meeting on Friday, it seemed, once again, that it was literally the world against Israel. Prime Minister Sade Benyaminov was one of the only people who was not for making a deal with the Taliban, but she was the only person who used all her energy to try to influence the others. Many more powerful countries in the situation such as the US and Pakistan wanted to make a deal with the Taliban which would trade a large sum of money for one of the four bombs, but what the shortsighted countries didn't understand was that with hundreds of millions of dollars to spend, the Taliban will likely celebrate the trade rather than regret it. 500 million dollars could buy enough weapons, cars and technology to keep the Taliban's enemies running in away from them, rather than towards them. Although Mrs. Benyaminov enthusiastically opposed the deal, she spent too much time talking about how it was unwise, that when it came to giving a new suggestion, the other UN members had already heard enough leading Hillary Clinton to even go so far as to threaten to "throw [Mrs. Benyaminov] out of the room". Minutes later, however, shocking news silenced the world momentarily. While watching the news and leaving their most powerful weapons unguarded, the Taliban's stronghold was invaded. This leaves one to wonder how the invasion worked out so perfectly - did the Taliban purposefully leave their weapons unguarded? Are they not as smart as they seem to be? Were they truly watching the news, or possibly a teen drama centered around a woman who controls the lives of Manhattan's elite through the use of technology and an alter-ego? So much is left unanswered, and possibly always will be. All we can do is be thankful that the situation worked out so perfectly, and that now the world can stop trembling in fear, and sigh in relief.

Written by: Adam Greitzer

D-Day: Decision Day.

At the May 22nd meeting of the UN Security Council, it is positively necessary that the countries can come to a consensus in response to this Taliban crisis. The countries all have contrasting ideas on how to find a solution. Pakistan would like only for United Nations forces to come into their country and destroy the Taliban as a last resort. In private UN Security Council meetings, Israel has disrupted the negotiations with the Taliban which left the Taliban saying “We will no longer negotiate with Israel.” Unless Israel stands down, the Taliban will not give the countries what they want, which is a peaceful end. Is Israel’s boldness holding back the United Nations? Is their pride going to be their destruction? Should the UN Security Council be unable to negotiate with the Taliban, Israel will most likely be the one bombed. Israel, stubborn as it is, stated, "Countries, if you are planning on negotiating I hope you realize that you will be giving them more power this way." Well, Israel, if they don't negotiate, you might just be swept off the map.

As for other countries that actually are willing to reason with the Taliban rather than immediately knocking off all negotiations with them, "Pakistan’s giving the Taliban the ultimatum of giving up the weapons by Friday and leaving in peace, however if the Taliban does not hand them over before then, then we suggest that the military invade the Swat Valley and confiscate the weapons in addition to dealing very harshly with the members of the Taliban." India made that statement. Finally, a country is proposing something that makes sense. Hopefully the UN Security Council will acknowledge this plan of action and execute it before the Taliban's threats become realities. The Taliban has clearly grown tired of Israel's hard-headedness and refers to the UN Security Council when stating, "It is apparent to them now that the strategy of either not speaking to us at all or making absurd demands is tiring, and will only waste their time." They seem to want a peaceful end to this as much as the rest of the countries do--so long as they get what they want; "If our demands are met or perhaps reasonable compromises raised, we will be peaceful." Where will it all end? What compromises are we willing to make to reach peace? We will see tomorrow.

Written by George Economou
Edited by Cinnamon Frost

"A Peaceful End"

Yes, this is what all countries see as the ideal outcome of this crisis with the Taliban. However, most acknowledge that "though it may seem unlikely and impossible with the Taliban refusing to negotiate now, things can change." That is a very optimistic viewpoint which shows the countries certainly haven't lost hope. The sole leverage the Taliban holds over the rest of the world are those nukes that are in its possession. As several countries have stated throughout the meetings, a compromise needs to be met. France states it best when saying that "We need to give the Taliban our demands instead of negotiating around theirs." It is absolutely necessary for the countries to stay strong and stand together against their common enemy.

It is clear that the UN Security Council is attempting to negotiate with the Taliban--yet their idea of negotiation is just requesting for the Taliban to give them all of the nuclear weaponry. This is not negotiation and nothing will change if the Taliban aren't satisfied at all. Iran states that "we need to negotiate better." It also continues to deny any contact with the Taliban other than attempts to negotiate. Iran states that it certainly does not side with the Taliban within this crisis and does not want any part with them--their radicalism presents a danger to all.

However, one particularly interesting statement from Iran was that if Israel does go in and drop bombs on the nuclear arsenals within the Swat Valley, Iran would take steps to retaliate. They say their retaliation would not be based on defending their Islamic brothers (The Taliban) but rather, should Israel nuke Swat Valley, several civilian fatalities would ensue and radiation would spread to Pakistan's surrounding countries. Iran would not fight Israel alone, but rather with the other countries surrounding Pakistan.

Israel seemed rather bothered today by the same reoccurring questions being asked by the media. The state made it clear that it did not wish to bomb the nuclear arsenals in the Swat Valley immediately--that was not its intention. However, it needs to prepare its country to do so should Pakistan be unable to take control of their own government.

Negotiation, negotiation--OH this word has been repeated over and over today. Contradicting Iran's statements, Israel says that they will "never negotiate with a terrorist organization that desires destruction of Israel." Zero negotiation, however, could be fatal in such a sticky situation.

With so many contradicting viewpoints on how this crisis ought to be dealt with and all hoping for "a peaceful end", it is necessary for the UN Security Council to settle upon an agreement at their next meeting. "Any action we take must be a joint UN effort so not one single country can be blamed," states Israel. Time is ticking away.

Israel stands tall.

At the most recent UN meeting on Friday, the countries sat down to discuss the most recent chain of events. With the Taliban continuing to threaten Israel, Prime Minister Sade Benyaminov made it very clear that "Israel will NOT negotiate with terrorists." Other countries have stressed upon her the severity of the situation, but to Mrs. Benyaminov the situation is no surprise. "Israel is no stranger to acts of terrorism by radical Muslims. To give in to them will not simply be handing over a piece of land - it will be handing over our pride. The Taliban do not simply want a bit of land, they want a Middle East that is free of both Judaism and Democracy. And they will not stop gaining power until somebody puts an end to them. We, Israel, cannot simply take care of them ourselves. We need assistance. Otherwise, they will not stop until Israel has been exterminated from the face of the map."

Other countries, however, have decided to refuse from taking sides. Countries such as Russia and the United States have either decided to remain neutral or simply have armies that are just too spread out to make an effect on the situation. Hilary Clinton has stated "The United States Army is too spread out at the moment for us to take charge of the situation. With troops in North Korea, Iraq, and Afganistan, we are unfortunately just too spread out. And although we cannot send troops to Pakistan, we can at least send words, which often ring louder than bombs. No act of terrorism is justified through so-called good intensions. By bombing Israel the Taliban will be forcing a huge dent into the modern future of our world. Israel is a hugely accomplished country, and our world will not be the same without it."

The Prime Minister of Israel still holds her stance. "We will not," Mrs. Benyaminov concludes, "give in to the wishes of terrorists. We, Israel, continue to stress the necessity of putting a stop to the Taliban. There will not be and end to their plight for control."

Written by Adam Greitzer
Edited by Cinnamon Frost

Israel fights back.

BBC reporter Adam Greitzer got the inside scoop on Israel's standpoint on the issue of the Taliban's (skeptical) nuclear capabilities. Being that Israel is the Taliban's number one target, this viewpoint is crucial to determining the plans of the UN Security Council when it comes to defending certain countries. Israel stted that they were not willing to give land, "nor will we negotiate with terrorists."

With response to Saudi Arabia's statement that the Taliban do not, in fact, possess the launch codes to the four nuclear-armed missiles, Israel declared "Saudi Arabia cannot be trusted." As Saudi Arabia has been friendly with the Taliban in the past, they could have made the statement to throw off other countries which would allow the Taliban to attack suddenly and spontaneously.

Evidently, Israel maintains its hostile feelings toward Iran and believes that they are in cahoots with the Taliban as well. The emergency UN council meeting on Tuesday revealed very clearly the feelings of Iran toward Israel as Iran stated that they would "love to see Israel gone" and would like to "wipe Israel off the map." In an issue as large as this, has Iran chosen to side with the Taliban? And if so, will Iran aid the Taliban with men should they choose to take action against Israel?

Israel went on to state that the world could not afford an entirely Islamic ruled Middle East. A just, free democracy is the ideal. Sharia law would be implemented if the Taliban took over, which would be dangerous to the inhabitants of the Middle Eastern countries. Sharia law dictates many aspects of day-to-day life, including politics, economics, banking, business, contracts, family, sexuality, hygiene, and social issues. Should it be spread throughout the land, the Middle East would be taking three steps back and fall far behind from the world's more modern liberal culture. Israel's army is large enough that they are capable of defending themselves but they would still gladly accept help from others in the UN Security Council

Article by Cinnamon Frost
Edited by George Economou

Emergency UN Security Council Meeting

An emergency UN Security Council Meeting was called in New York City today due to Taliban's recent control over four nuclear-armed missiles. Their access to what was reportedly a "safe" nuclear arsenal could have been provided by internal Pakistani officials.

The meeting began with the Taliban's demand for the current leaders of the Pakistani government to be replaced and the current law to be replaced with Shariah law. In addition, they requested for all foreign militaries to leave the Middle East within one month and their hostages held in foreign nations must be sent released. The Taliban continued to say that "if the demands are not met properly, we will take action against Israel." During the press conference, Israel said that they certainly did not wish to negotiate with the Taliban, being that they are a terrorist organization and cannot be trusted.

President of Pakistan Asif al Zardari declared that everything was "under control" although this does strike the rest of the world as a crisis. The balance of power of power in the Islamic world may have shifted for the worst--and this effects everyone. He wished to negotiate with the Taliban and avoid the use of nuclear weapons. It is questionable, however, what Pakistan will used to fight the Taliban if negotiations cannot be made. Israel said it best when calling the Talibans "Muslim extremists who have proven themselves to be irrational and clearly anti-Israeli and anti-Semitic." Iran denied having any contact with the Taliban although the Taliban has history of selling its nuclear secrets to Syria, Iran, and North Korea.

The USA shall continue to provide assistance to the Pakistan government. They are not willing to pull troops out of Iraq to fight, however. Where would these new troops come from to defend Pakistan if not from Iraq? When posed with this question, the USA could not respond.

India posed the idea that the "Pakistani government close off its border with Afghanistan in order to prevent the weapons from being removed from the country. [They] also urge the Pakistani government to use all means necessary to crush the Taliban within their borders." This idea is feasible and sensible as it pressures the Taliban to make a move, while they cannot directly attack Israel.

The common viewpoint is that the only way to resolve this matter is if countries put aside their differences to look at the bigger picture and solve this problem. None of these countries want to resort to using nuclear weapons.